Masculinity, an asset or a liability
Everyone has different thoughts or requirements of what a man should look like or what a man should be. In every culture, masculinity is portrayed differently. Some cultures might believe that masculinity has prerequisites like:
No crying
No showing emotion
No being vulnerable
Roughly translated, these can also be listed as:
Cry alone not around other people (in the shower or car for most of us)
Show emotion only when it’s related to sports or special occasions
Learn not to trust anyone with your vulnerability when really this is the answer to solving the communication problem in your relationships
Being a man does not mean you must battle anxiety, depression, and the stress of your job or family alone. Being able to face your issues is one of the most challenging things you can do (and also the most rewarding). This is why it is crucial to have someone you trust so you can talk about your struggles and your vulnerability won’t be judged like it was the first time you decided to open up and it didn’t go your way.
Masculinity can be an asset in a person’s life. Being assertive, having the ability to pivot, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable with your loved ones are all necessary tools. Being able to express your emotions is not a sign that you lack masculinity, it is a sign that you are in touch with yourself and can communicate appropriately with those around you. Sharing with a friend a negative experience you had at work does not make you weak; it makes you human. Crying because you saw a sad movie or remember a terrible experience does not make you less of a man, but a man that is aware.
As a clinician, I often hear from men of different ages and cultural backgrounds that seeing a therapist or counselor is something they hid from their friends and family even though it helped them learn how to communicate and cope with their anxiety or depression. We have muscles in our bodies because they are useful; we have feet because they are biologically beneficial for our survival; we also have tears and emotions so let’s not be scared to use our entire body’s arsenal to our benefit.
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We always attempt to provide useful articles but for this particular topic, many of the articles we found did not necessarily provide healthy examples of masculinity or much useful information that is conducive to young men feeling free to express themselves in the forms of masculinity described in our article.