Embracing Your Lived Experience
We are a direct reflection of our lived experience. The ways in which we make sense and move through life become second nature, but what happens during times of disruption that leave us feeling lost, overwhelmed, and/or unsure of how to move forward? We typically seek therapy when we’ve exhausted our resources and don’t know what else to do with an increasing amount of stress and overwhelming emotions. How do we navigate our emotions when our mind is either constantly running, frozen in time, or in fluctuation between both?
Reminder: it’s okay to experience conflicting, co-existing emotions. The dilemma happens when we get so wrapped up in the “wrongness” of our own feelings that we begin to push them away, overthink, and punish ourselves:
“I love this person, but they push my buttons.”
“I feel confident that I am on the right track, but my anxiety and worry just won’t go away.”
“I’m hopeful for the future, but I also just want to give up.”
“I have so much love around me, but I still feel empty inside.”
“I want to do this, but it feels like it’s too late for me.”
“Whyyyy am I like this?”
What if we do something as simple and radical as changing the “but” to an “and”? Would it be so unreasonable to recognize that we don’t have to approach everything with a positive mindset, or beat ourselves up for feeling even an ounce of negativity? What would happen if we choose to start making room for the good, the bad, and the ugly? By learning to embrace our lived experience, we release the pressure that we “should” be a certain way and, instead, we just be. We learn to accept that “negative” emotions can exist without tearing us apart… without weighing us down.
Once we begin to accept our thoughts and feelings for what they are, and acknowledge and reflect either in solitude or with someone we trust, perhaps we will discover that they might actually serve us in some way. Rather than letting the guilt, shame, or confusion about who we are and why we are take over, let’s simply begin to acknowledge its presence rather than pushing it away. Once we shift our attention toward self-exploration over self-judgment, we develop new ways to release feelings of overwhelm and pressure, and we begin to replace them with self-acceptance and self-love.