To the People who Don’t Lose
You might be one of the many people who claim “I don’t lose.” It’s a common phrase. We’ve all heard it, especially in those moments where we want to puff out our chest a little bit and boast. But when you turn off the lights, your friends leave, you’re left having to sit with that thought: I don’t lose.
When you tell yourself losing is not an option, you’re really just denying reality and changing the rules of the game as you go along (which, in most games or sports, results in heavy fines and suspensions). You do this not because you’re a bad person, but simply because you’ve just created a rule that you have to uphold even when it’s not true.
If you recognize yourself in this scenario, you’re likely the person who complains about everything else around them while ignoring the fact that you had a bad game (it happens especially in relationships and when you experience undesirable feelings and emotions).
The reality is that if you live a normal life, you probably lose sometimes. Maybe you lose even more than sometimes, if you’re really looking hard enough or being brutally honest with yourself.
But here’s the thing; losing isn’t a bad thing! If you keep winning, the other person stays losing. This is true whether or not your partner is a friend, a coworker, or even a long-term romantic partner. It may work for both of you in your own warped way but eventually, they want to win some too and you don’t want a partner who feels like such a loser. The key to healthy relationships is accepting reality which sometimes means taking an L for the team and stepping up to lead better next time.